


A Glimpse of Hope and Unity

by deakysrog



Series: A Bass Playing Ace [1]
Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Asexual Character, Asexual John Deacon, Coming Out, Domestic Fluff, Early Days, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Mentions of Sex, Team as Family, allo people am i right, they just talk about jacking off
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:01:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24230239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deakysrog/pseuds/deakysrog
Summary: John sighed, now feeling more annoyed than awkward. "God, this is another one of those fucking allo things I missed the memo on, isn't it?" He grumbled, seemingly more to himself than the boys sitting in front of him.Suddenly, his eyes went wide and he slapped a hand over his mouth.Freddie, Brian, and Roger were more than confused now, simultaneously worried and baffled at John's words.aka John accidentally outs himself, but the boys are totally okay with it
Relationships: John Deacon & Brian May, John Deacon & Brian May & Freddie Mercury & Roger Taylor, John Deacon & Freddie Mercury, John Deacon & Roger Taylor
Series: A Bass Playing Ace [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1810423
Comments: 15
Kudos: 51





	A Glimpse of Hope and Unity

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic on this site, and my first fic for this fandom! please tell me if i can fix the tags in any way, I still don't really know what I'm doing. also I am NOT trying to give the impression that all asexuals are prudes, or don't know anything about sex. this actually stemmed from a youtube video, where an ace guy said when he was a teenager he literally thought masturbation was a myth. also inspired by the fact that I am baffled by allo people daily.
> 
> title is from one vision by queen

John was on his way home from a long day at university. The day had set him on edge, his teachers being unforgiving with their workload, even though it was a Friday. Not to mention, he had spent his lunch finishing up a paper that had been due an hour later, meaning he only had time to eat a small bag of crisps that were hastily thrown in his bookbag earlier that morning. He was starving, overworked, and frankly just wanted to be alone.

He was currently riding back to the flat on his bicycle, pedaling quite fast and itching to be home. Their apartment was just over a mile away from his school, which meant he could ride or even walk there in the mornings in a short amount of time, for which he was grateful.

He rounded the corner of the block, finally turning onto their road. He could see the apartments now and began to slow down a bit. His legs were starting to tire from the relentless pace at which he had been riding. The added weight of his textbooks in his basket on the front weren't helping, as they wouldn't all fit in the satchel hanging over his shoulder.

He pulled up in front of their complex, slowly squeezing his brakes until he came to an easy halt in front of the small, metal bike rack out front. He swung his leg over the side of his bike, dismounting, and attempted to hold up his bicycle with only one hand as the other dug around in his bag for his bike lock. After a few seconds of blind searching, he felt the coiled lock underneath his fingers, resting underneath a particularly large book. Triumphantly, he pulled it out of his satchel and wound it around his bike frame and the metal bars of the bike rack.

Successfully clicking the lock into place, he left his bike and walked up to the front door of their apartment. He bounded up the three stairs and punched the code into the keypad on the front door hastily. The second it beeped and flashed a green light at him, he was opening the door, stumbling inside the entryway and suddenly feeling very exhausted.

"Oh, hi Deaks," he heard a voice say from across the small living room. He looked over to see Roger sitting on their small couch with the television on, a large blanket over his legs and a cereal box on the floor in front of him. He was no longer paying attention to his show as he noticed the arrival of his roommate.

John gave him his best attempt at a tired smile, mumbling a quick, "Hey Rog," before slipping off his sneakers and depositing his bookbag on their sad excuse for a coat rack. It was three large nails Brian had pounded into a block of wood, and he'd only created it because he was so fed up with Roger leaving his jackets all over the floor. Unfortunately, Roger seemed to be the only one that didn't use it, and John had a suspicion that it was more out of spite than the hangers actually being unnecessary.

John quickly crossed the small space to where his friend was sitting. "Scoot over, would you?" he asked, nudging Roger as best he could with his elbow from where he was standing over him. Roger slid over to the far side of the couch, turning his eyes back to the screen. John fell not so gracefully onto the space next to him, immediately melting into the comfort of the cushions. He made himself cozy, then looked up at the television and saw what his friend was watching.

"Really?" he asked teasingly. "Riverdale?"

Roger scoffed. "Just because you lot all hate it-"

"M' joking," John mumbled, now feeling slightly shy. He saw Roger smirk out of the corner of his eye, his tongue poking out slightly between his teeth.

"I know, so am I. Lighten up Deaky. If I really cared, I would have changed it before you got back," he reasoned. "Now if you're gonna watch, shut your trap," he grumbled, reaching down to grab his cereal off the floor.

John hummed slightly in response. He shifted a bit so his legs were folded underneath him, and leaned his elbow up against the arm of the couch so he could rest his chin on his hand.

He and Roger sat together in comfortable silence, except for the noise of the television and occasional chewing, sharing a quiet moment together before anyone else arrived home. John was glad he had friends he could share this feeling of comradery with, everything seemed to be easier when he was home with the people he loved the most.

After a bit, he got bored of Roger's teen drama and pulled his phone from his back pocket. He saw he had a few snapchat notifications, but he chose to ignore them, opening instagram instead. He scrolled mindlessly through his feed, which mostly consisted of friends, family, photography accounts, and Marvel memes.

He quickly saw all his new posts, as he didn't follow many people, and was about to put down his phone again when he got a text from Freddie in the band group chat.

_freddie m: be home soon, the bus ran late. don't let roger eat all my fucking frosted flakes_

John grinned at his message, looking over to Roger who was frowning at his own phone while also holding a handful of cereal. "How does he fucking know?" he asked, looking to the brunet quizzically, who just shrugged in response.

John put his phone back in his pocket and relaxed into his previous position. Roger proceeded to stuff the entire handful of sugary cereal into his mouth at once, chewing obnoxiously. John made a face at Roger's rather disgusting act.

Roger swallowed his mouthful of food vulgarly. After a moment of silence, he said grumpily, "I think I'll make some tea." He groaned. "Could really use a cuppa."

John nodded, though Roger wasn't looking at him. The drummer raised himself off the couch with a grunt, throwing the blanket off his legs and stretching as he stood. He yawned widely, then lumbered off to the kitchen, scratching at his scalp. John watched him, amused, before settling himself deeper into the couch, taking up the space Roger had just vacated.

He felt the blanket rub against his feet as he laid to cover the full length of the couch, and pulled it over himself. Feeling quite comfortable wrapped up in the warmth of the sofa and utterly exhausted from his day, John felt his eyes starting to droop.

He didn't even realize when he'd drifted off to sleep.

\-- --

_"....him up soon?"_

"Nah, you should have seen how whooped he looked when he walked in the door. Poor kid looked like he could have slept for days."

John opened his eyes blearily, his head feeling a bit fuzzy. At first, he was confused on where he was. Then he felt the familiar fabric of the living room couch, remembered watching tv with Roger, and realized he must have fallen asleep out on the sofa.

He sat up drowsily, still feeling a bit groggy from sleep. He rubbed at his eyes slowly, trying to clear the blurry spots that danced around his vision.

"Oh, look at that! Our sleeping beauty is awake. Did you enjoy your nap, Deaky dear?"

John turned his head towards the kitchen, confused. "Fred?" he asked, cringing at his raspy voice.

Freddie chuckled, meeting John's squinty eyes as he slowly began to recognize the three figures sitting at the kitchen table. "We would have woken you, but you just looked too cute all cuddled up in your blanket. I couldn't bring myself to do it," Freddie cooed, giving John a sweet smile.

John just nodded sleepily, slightly embarrassed with how Freddie insisted on coddling him constantly, being the youngest of their little group.

He yawned gently, reaching a hand up to cover his mouth as he did so. He sat there quietly for a moment, trying to wake up a bit more before he joined the boys in the kitchen.

A shrill whistling sound cut through the silence, coming from the kettle on the stovetop that was now steaming. He watched as a tall mop of curls poured a cup of John's favorite tea.

He stood from the couch, the blanket wrapped around his shoulders, and softly padded to the dining table. Freddie pulled out the chair on the only open side of the little table, which John sat down in gratefully. A steaming cup of tea was placed in front of him, and John glanced up at Brian, who was smiling at him sweetly. John picked up the cup and lifted it to his lips, taking a small sip. It was still quite hot, and nearly burned his tongue. But it was good, Brian had added perfect amounts of milk and sugar.

"How," John paused, trying to form the question in his mind. "How long was I asleep?"

"A couple hours, at least. You seemed pretty wiped when you came home, long day at uni?" Roger asked.

John sighed softly. "You could say so, yeah." He frowned. "Sorry I fell asleep, I hope you didn't wait on me for dinner."

"Lucky for you, we just called in takeout. Should be here in about twenty minutes." Brian replied.

John smiled softly and nodded. He sipped his tea again, now able to swallow some of the hot liquid without it scorching the inside of his mouth.

"It's alright," Freddie said, a slight smirk on his face, "Your little snooze gave Roger some 'private time' alone in your room." He started to snicker at the annoyed look Roger gave him.

"I was fucking studying!" Roger retorted.

"Sure Rog," Brian chastised, rolling his eyes. "Doing some hands-on learning for your unit on the reproductive system?"

"Oh, shut it," Roger huffed. "I have a quiz Monday I want to ace. 'Sides, you came home and hopped right in the damn shower, and I know you weren't in there for half an hour just appreciating the warm water."

Freddie nearly choked on his tea. Brian's face flushed scarlet, and he looked thoroughly embarrassed.

John on the other hand, was extremely confused.

"What are you on about, Rog?" he asked, genuinely not understanding the situation.

Roger turned his attention to him, looking almost as confused as John felt. "What do you mean?"

"Just," John sighed, feeling awkward that he didn't get the other boys dumb little innuendos. "Sorry, I just don't get it."

Roger then looked at Freddie, who looked equally puzzled. "Deaky, you do know what masturbating is, don't you?" Freddie joked, still unsure of what John didn't understand about their banter.

John looked around at his three roommates, who were all awkwardly silent. "Well, yes, but what does that have to do with anything?" he asked curiously, starting to worry about the expressions the others were giving him.

"Oh god John, you really don't get it?" Roger asked, a hand tugging at his blond locks anxiously.

John slowly shook his head, feeling extremely excluded from whatever his friends were thinking. 

"Uhm, well, Freddie, he uh, he was making a joke. About Roger, uhm, you know," Brian stammered nervously, lamely gesturing his hands to try and prove his point.

"Bri, I think the point is that he doesn't know," Roger said, exasperated.

"Right, yeah. Uhm, the joke was about, well, jerking off."

John studied Brian's face slowly, trying to piece together what he was saying until it finally clicked.

"Wait, what?" John suddenly yelped, nearly spilling his tea in his surprise as he jumped back into his chair.

"Are you actually this innocent? Oh god, what have we done?" Freddie wailed, leaping up to pull John into a hug, which he quickly shied away from. "Our poor, pure little Deaky! I'm sure you boys are melting his ears as we speak."

"No, Fred stop, 's not that," John squealed, trying to shimmy out of the older's grasp. "You're all telling me it's REAL?"

The three other boys stopped, straightening up sharply. "...what?" Roger finally asked, seemingly speechless.

John immediately felt insecure. "I-I just-" he looked around at the shocked faces of the other three. "Well, I just thought that was a myth! I mean, I'd heard about it but I just thought it was rumors, you know? Nobody really does that, don't they?"

The others were at a loss for words.

John sighed, now feeling extremely awkward and out of place. "God, this is another one of those fucking allo things I missed the memo on, isn't it?" He grumbled, seemingly more to himself than the boys sitting in front of him.

Suddenly, his eyes went wide and he slapped a hand over his mouth.

Freddie, Brian, and Roger were more than confused now, simultaneously worried and baffled at John's words. Roger was the first to speak.

"The fuck is an allo?" He blurted, more disoriented than angry. His words made the look of fear on John's face worsen; the bassist felt as if he might pass out at any moment.

"Roger," Brian hissed at him. He didn't understand much of what was going on at the moment, but judging by his friend's face Roger's words were not helping the situation.

"Deaky, are you alright?" Freddie asked, noticing how nervous he looked. In an attempt to comfort him, the singer placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. John was taking deep breaths now, Freddie's touch grounding him and pulling him back to consciousness. He nodded weakly, looking at his friends who all were wearing quite terrified expressions, and he almost laughed. Almost.

"M' fine, Fred," he sighed as Freddie took his hand back. "Just imagined this happening differently, I suppose."

"What do you mean?" Brian asked, his look of shock melting into one of relief, but he still seemed confused by John's words.

John took a shaky breath. "I guess I'm coming out right now?" he said, his statement sounding more like a question. 

Whatever the others were expecting him to say, this was not it. 

"Hold on-" Roger started, but John cut him off. 

"Please," he asked softly, trying to put all his distress behind the one desperate word. Roger obediently shut his mouth, now waiting for him to speak. John took one last deep breath, wrapping his blanket tighter around his body. "Okay. So, um, Roger? An allo is a, uh, well, it's someone who isn't a-spec. I'm sure that doesn't mean anything to you." He chuckled nervously. "Allo is short for allosexual, which is the opposite of asexual."

While Roger and Brian were looking at John like he was speaking in another language, Freddie was starting to realize what his words implied. He had heard that term before in the gay community, if only briefly. He wasn't entirely sure what it meant, but he understood the weight of this moment for John.

Roger had apparently heard it too, but maybe not in the same terms as Freddie. "Isn't that plants and shit?" he asked brashly.

Freddie rolled his eyes, shooting Roger a pointed look. "Dear, let him talk."

John cleared his throat awkwardly. He wasn't too used to having everyone's attention on him, focusing on every word he had to say. "Yeah. Well, uh, if allosexual is feeling sexual attraction, which I guess is most of the population, then asexual is the reverse. Not feeling sexual attraction, I mean. And, uh, that's me. I don't-well, can't feel anything sexual. For anyone. And same thing with romantic attraction, I don't feel that either. That's aromantic." He let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding and a strange feeling of relief washed over him, calming his nerves.

He continued on, "So the term a-spec is kind of an umbrella for all those words? It just means any identity that's kinda that same type, like how asexual and aromantic are both lack of attraction. It's just an easy way of grouping them all together. I know it's pretty confusing, but it makes sense to me, at least."

The other three seemed lost in thought, seemingly mulling his words over in their heads and trying to make some sense of what he was saying. 

"I suppose that makes sense," Freddie said cautiously. "You don't see people romantically or sexually? Like, strictly platonic you mean?" He seemed to be processing each word as he spoke it. John nodded vigorously. Freddie had understood his mess of a speech perfectly. 

Once again, Roger was not hesitant to conceal his immediate thoughts. "When you said allo, you meant us? Right? Cause you're apparently, uh, not that. Asexual. So why did you say it like an insult?"

John had to stifle his laughter, not because Roger's question was particularly amusing, but because of how silly this little habit of his was. "It's kind of weird, actually. It's sort of my own inside joke. Like, anytime something inconveniences me, I'll blame it on not being allo. It's really stupid, I know, but it just makes me laugh." He smiled to himself. "It's like a gay person calling something homophobic for the same reason; not that it's actually offensive to them, it's mostly just cause I can."

Roger looked a bit confused still, probably because he couldn't relate to John's little joke, but he nodded nonetheless. "So it's not a bad thing then?"

"Well," John smirked, "speak for yourself."

Roger rolled his eyes at that, finally loosening up a bit and giving John a playful shove. Brian, who had been awfully quiet since John first started to talk, eventually spoke up.

"Uh, sorry if this is an uncomfortable question, but what about the joke from earlier? About masturbating?" He shifted awkwardly in his seat, seemingly mortified of his own question.

John was just taking a sip of his now-cold tea, and it nearly came out his nose when he heard what Brian asked. "Oh," he said, cheeks turning slightly pink as he set down his cup. "God, that's really embarrassing." Brian flushed a dark shade of red at John's comment, feeling quite bad for bringing it up again.

"You did say you knew what it was, yes?" Freddie asked politely. John nodded sheepishly in response. "But I did hear you mention something about a myth, what exactly did you mean by that?"

John groaned quietly, slightly ashamed of himself. "Well, uhm, in secondary school, people started to talk about that kind of stuff, you know? Everyone is a perv at that age. Anyway, the way everyone whispered about it, like it was something scandalous, I just thought it was more of something people talked about but didn't actually do?" he rambled. 

"And nobody told me otherwise, cause when we all got to the age where most guys start, ah, doing it, it's not like everyone was talking openly about their business. And I swear, I genuinely thought that it was just a funny rumor up until now."

Freddie looked at him, bewildered. "How did you not know that everyone except you was doing it?"

John shrugged. "Just never realized, I suppose. Like I said, it's not like it was really talked about publicly. And I've never had the urge to try, so why would I ever really need to worry about it?"

"That makes sense," Brian hummed. Roger, on the other hand, was flabbergasted. 

"You've never jerked off? Ever? You haven't even tried?" John was slightly taken aback by the boldness of his question, but he shook his head in response. 

"I mean, talking about it like this doesn't bother me at all, but when I think about doing it for myself, I get extremely uncomfortable. Same thing with sex, and all that." John shuddered, remembering the times in his teens he had forced himself to try and feel something, which always resulted in embarrassed tears and a horrible bout of anxiety.

"Do you mind other people having sex? Oh god, we haven't ever made you uncomfortable by bringing anyone back here, have we?" Brian said, concerned.

John brushed it aside. "Not really, no. At least not more uncomfortable than any other person would be. And besides, I've been sleeping on the couch when Rog has someone in our room anyway. Don't think you have to change anything." He saw Roger blush sheepishly out of the corner of his eye. "Any other questions?"

Brian and Freddie shook their heads, Freddie giving John a sweet and comforting smile. Roger however, still seemed to have something troubling him.

"I just can't wrap my head around the fact that you can look at a pretty girl and not want to immediately bend her over the table," Roger said, his hand yanking at his hair. 

"Rog, I can't even express how crazy that concept is to me," John said, laughing.

Roger sighed, overplaying his exasperation. "You're real special, Deaky. One of a kind."

John smiled. "Well, actually, there's lots of people like me," he said, correcting Roger. "Apparently, at least one percent of everyone on earth is ace. That's like, seventy-five million people."

"Ace?" Brian said quizzically.

"Short for asexual," John responded. "Plus, it sounds cool." 

Brian looked at him fondly, nodding. "That's actually really awesome, Deaks." 

"I've met people online, too. That are ace, you know? And we've shared about our experiences. It's really nice to talk to people that understand." John was grinning now. The others were watching him warmly, feeling a sense of pride for their youngest.

Freddie gave him a cheerful smile. "How exactly did you find out you were asexual?"

John blushed and mumbled something incoherent. "What was that, dear?" Freddie asked.

"A Marvel fanfiction," he flushed an even deeper shade of red. 

"You've got to be kidding," Roger cried, his face breaking out into a massive grin.

John was looking down into his cup, refusing to meet the eyes of his bandmates. "I'd never heard about it anywhere else before. There's not much representation in the media. 'S not like you can turn on the telly and see someone like me on tv."

Roger immediately sobered, feeling sorry at John's insecure tone. "Oh god Deaks, I didn't even think like that."

John just shrugged. "It's fine. Not much I can do, anyway." Brian reached over and placed a hand on his back reassuringly, being cautious as John was often shy to touching.

Roger abruptly stood from his chair. John hastily looked up at him as the blond walked around the table until he stood directly in front of John. Roger took the younger's hands in his, looking him straight in the eyes.

"We're going to make it. We'll be big, all of us. Queen is going places. I know it, you know it, we all do." A glint of something, determination perhaps, shone in his eyes. "And when we're out there, rocking on a huge stage for millions of people, you're gonna be the one that people like you look up to. They're gonna see you, a fucking rockstar for god's sake, and they're gonna know that they can do anything." He paused, swallowing the feeling welling in his throat. "Deaky, you're gonna be their hero."

John's eyes were suspiciously watery after Roger finished. "Rog, who knew you were such a sap," he giggled. 

"Yes indeed, that was awfully soft of you, dear," Freddie teased, tenderness hidden behind his words.

"Maybe you can't see it, but I sure can!" Roger protested. "John Deacon, bassist of queen, proud asexual, and bad-ass mother fucker," he declared. John laughed at that, Roger's antics making something in his chest swell.

Roger pulled John out of his chair by the hands that were still being held in his own, and threw his arms around the brunet's slim shoulders. John was slightly stunned, but gingerly hugged him back.

Freddie rose too, and gently held his arms around the youngest two. Brian, not wanting to be left out, pulled them all into his clutch with his long arms. The four of them stood in the kitchen, holding each other close.

John knew in that moment that no matter what happened, he was going to be alright. As long as he had his friends by his side, he could take on the damn world.

**Author's Note:**

> the ending is a bit shit, isn't it? it was somewhat rushed, but I didn't have it in me to fix it up any more haha. I think I might write more for this universe, I just love it so much. I hope you enjoyed this little snippet of ace john!
> 
> comments and kudos are much appreciated :)


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